Along with the rest of the country, I’ve been caught up in the media trap that is NBC’s Fear Factor. Yes, it’s a gigantic waste of time and there are probably better things that I could be doing, but until the next season of Survivor begins, this is all I’ve got!
If somehow you haven’t seen the show, basically it pits six people who’ve recently graduated college and have lots of loans to pay off against each other to determine who is the most likely to end up in an institution in the future. The prize: $50,000. All that’s required is that you jump off of a fourteen-story building, take a bath with a thousand rats, and eat two buffalo testicles. And no, I’m not making this up…
Actually, these events didn’t all come from the same episode, but this gives you a taste of what contestants on Fear Factor can expect. A typical show consists of three segments. The first being a really insane stunt, such as this week’s episode where the contestants were strapped into a car which was then lowered into a lake. They were then expected to save the child in the back seat as water rushed into the car and swim to shore without drowning! Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?
The middle portion of the hour-long program is usually filled with an event where all of the girls get really grossed out because they’re going to have to eat. Ok, there’s a little more to it than that: they’re going to have to eat something that only a caveman would eat, such as a beetle, worm, etc… Come on, tribes of thousands of people all around the world survive on these types of creatures every single day, but for some reason the women on this show just can’t seem to handle a nice, crunchy cockroach, or five! It’s great watching the guys during this segment because we’re all used to doing disgusting things like eating bugs and swimming in worms and all sorts of other stupid guy things. Considering that most of these contestants are coming straight from college (and fraternities…), I’d guess that those weren’t the first buffalo testicles these guys had actually eaten…
The last segment of the show is typically pretty lame because by this point there are only two people left. The writers know that their audience is a bunch of suckers and by this point we’re all hooked anyways, so they can come up with pretty much anything to fill in the rest of the time slot. The show that featured the human targets in the junkyard was my pick for the all-time lamest event – it reminded me of a lot of the challenges from Survivor 2! (Wow, they’re really going to have to step things up a notch now, aren’t they?) Anyways, to win at this point, you basically just have to do two things:
- Show up.
- Prove that you’re not a complete idiot by listening to the instructions and not getting disqualified.
Last night’s prize was awarded because the other guy escaped from the flooding car through the wrong window, of all things! He must have fun getting to sleep at night…
I’ll admit it: I like this show, but I still don’t consider myself a fan of reality TV. I hated Weakest Link with a passion (although I did watch their latest comedian edition – Kathy Griffin and Rob Schneider were great!), and I forced myself to sit through one episode of Spy TV, which didn’t impress me either. Temptation Island was alright, although it didn’t take me long to figure out that Cinemax was just as entertaining and lacked commercials! Boot Camp, Big Brother, The Mole, even Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? – none of these shows did a thing for me, so that basically just leaves Fear Factor and Survivor.
What do I look for in a good television show nowadays? Well, as long as bugs are being eaten, I’m tuning in…