There’s certainly no denying it – I’m a fish guy. I’ve been a fish guy ever since I was six years old and had one of those novelty tanks that looks like a gumball machine in my room – my parents had bought two Swordtails for that tank, one male and one female, and…well, you can guess where things went from there! Pretty soon I had more fish than I knew what to do with and I had even gained some valuable knowledge about how many creatures in the animal kingdom interact as well – mainly that some adults will eat their own young shortly after birth unless they’re moved to a separate location…

So here I am some seventeen years later – I’ve had many more fish tanks since then and I look forward to many more in my future as well. Nevertheless, as any aquarium enthusiast knows, quite frankly, fish don’t last forever, and I’ve definitely ushered my share of fish onto that “big ocean in the sky” over the years. Most recently, unfortunately, were the deaths involved with attempting to transport my babies some 1500 miles down from Northern Michigan to my new home here in South Florida. They did ride shotgun, I might add, and it wasn’t until spending several nights in the hotel when we got here that they finally kicked the bucket. Looking back on that three-week stay, I sometimes wonder how I managed to make it through myself, but that’s an entirely different column altogether!

That having been said, however, you’ve probably pieced together the idea that after this most recent loss, I am now essentially fish-less, which really puts me in a unique situation – this is the first time I’ve been without fish since I was six years old. I’m now in the position to start a new fish tank completely from scratch and I’ve gotta tell you, I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl! I guess I kind of relate it to just about any project that I get involved with – those first few days are somewhat mind blowing because of all the options and possibilities that lie before me. Big fish or little fish, tropical or freshwater, live plants or those uber-fake-looking, neon plastic jobbies – the list goes on and on! Of course, it’s not all lollypops and gumdrops when it comes to establishing new life within those walls of glass…

You see, fish are very touchy when it comes to their living conditions, and I’m not talking about the color of the ceramic castle or the value of the coins inside that bubbling treasure chest. For those of you unaware in the intricacies of the aquatic world, just as we couldn’t stand to live in an area filled with smog and pollution, fish are the same way with the quality of their water…which concerns me because, well, the water quality down here seems to be just a tad bit questionable! Even though I’ve done all of the standard tests – ammonia, nitrates, and so forth – it’s the whole idea that this water tends to really smack you in the face when you’ve got 35 gallons of it in front of you that has me a little worried! Of course, I know that things are going to be a little different from the well water that I’d grown accustomed to up north, but I suppose we’ll just have to let the little guys be the judge.

Which is actually where I’m sitting right now – I’ve got a single tank set up with a meager assortment of wretchedly-fake-looking plants, a filter and an old air pump – the bare necessities for something like this, really, but there’s really no sense in dropping a huge lump of cash on new aquarium toys until it’s been proven that I’m actually going to be able to keep fish in the house, you know?! So far, the test school has made it exactly one week with a minimal number of casualties, which is pretty good in my book, so I think things are looking up at this point! Right now they’re still getting used to their surroundings, learning the currents created by the filter and bubblers, and seeing which one of them can run into the glass the fastest, but I’ve got a feeling that it won’t be long before they’re feeling right at home, too, ready and willing to do whatever it takes to score with the first fish that swims their way…

Hmmm, apparently even fish resemble their owners more than we originally thought!