Am I the only one who’s excited about this?!
The adrenaline hit me like a speeding buffet cart when I saw that huge, neon sign with my own eyes – it almost seemed too good to be true! All too often have my favorite foods been severed from restaurant menus and grocery store shelves, never again to see the light of my kitchen pantry in substitution for the next greatest thing, which sadly ends up translating to “some bizarre-flavored crap that Scott won’t be able to stomach, and yet enough other people will manage to enjoy that it will end up staying on the shelf for all eternity.” Cheeseburger-flavored Doritos, I’m looking in your direction…
As I pulled up to the drive-thru window, mouth-watering to the point where my upholstery might very well need replacing, the horrible thought passed through my head that what if it isn’t true? What if the employee in charge of putting those little letters up on the board didn’t have a knack for details and got confused, thus substituting “The Arby-Q is back!” for “The Arby-Q isn’t back!” or even “The Arby-Q is NEVER coming back!” Or maybe this was all some sort of sick, twisted joke targeting the world’s greatest Arby-Q fans, as listed by order of dedication via Arby-Qs enjoyed on The Official Arby-Q Fansite?! Could there really be someone on this Earth so cruel as to taunt us harmless lovers of that sweet and tangy barbecued roast beef? I’m not sure I want to live in a world where that kind of hatred exists, but fortunately my doubts subsided as I placed my order and the brilliant young lass at the window confirmed that yes, for a mere $1.49 she would be happy to bring me the blessed Arby-Q sandwich that I’d longed for all these years!
To steal the line from Richard Lewis, that first bite was just heaven. Layers upon layers of shredded roast beef soaked in the finest barbecue sauce this side of the Mississippi, all hoisted upon a delectable sesame seed bun – it was as if the King of Deliciousness himself had created the sandwich in front of me with his own two hands. I laughed out loud, I cried tears of joy, and somewhere out there in corporate America, an Arby’s executive got his promotion for daring to bring back the best sandwich to ever adorn their proud company’s menu of roast beef-related products!
My only regret was that I didn’t take advantage of their 5 for $5 deal – it was tempting, but that just seemed greedy in light of such a momentous unveiling.
Nonetheless, while my stomach remains high on Cloud 9 as it digests that blessed meal to its fullest, this pessimistic mind of mine can only wonder just how long this Heaven on Earth via Arby-Q scenario can last. You know, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice by taking away my beloved sandwich again and I’ll kill you in your sleep!” Maybe the folks at Arby’s wouldn’t do that to us, but remember – these are the very same people who sought to bring us the ever-disgusting Chicken Cordon Bleu, and don’t even get me started on the Market Fresh, No Seriously They’re Not Just Plain, Old Meat-on-Bread Sandwiches! Never trust anyone in the fast food industry farther than you can deep-fry them, that’s what I say. If only the Arby-Q were more like the McRib, the sandwich that refuses to go away, despite its growing more and more disgusting for each comeback tour…
All we can do now is hope and pray, my friends, that the powers that be behind our beloved barbecued delight will see it in their hearts to keep this old-time favorite around as a delicious alternative to that boring, regular roast beef sandwich that is now the icon of their business efforts. In the meantime, however, I must also recommend one thing – use this time to consume as many Arby-Qs as you possibly can! Keep in mind that the 5 for $5 deal also translates into the even tastier 10 for $10 deal or 100 for $100 deal. Hire Arby’s to cater your next business luncheon or your daughter’s wedding – what better way to say “I Love You” than with an Arby-Q? Make school lunches a snap with a quick spin through the Arby’s drive-thru to pick-up enough sandwiches for the entire week, and still have money left over for more Arby-Qs! The possibilities are only limited by your taste buds, and of course, this limited time offer.
Embrace it while it’s here, folks – viva la Arby-Q!