I know that this is an exciting time for some of you out there.

I mean, I pass by the houses every day – their lawns decked out with giant pumpkins and giant spiders and normal-sized, but nonetheless creepy-looking zombies … and really, that’s only the beginning, now isn’t it?  Navigate through the comical tombstones and cobweb-laden bushes up to that creaky, front door and it’s there that we’re treated to the real fruits of your haunted labors.  With skeletons in the windows, bats with beady, glowing eyes in the belfry, and even what appears to be an all too real witches cauldron on the front porch, you’ve managed to turn what I’m sure is otherwise normally a quiet, suburban home into a freaky dwelling straight out of The Twilight Zone, and frankly, I think that’s just awesome!

Well, don’t get me wrong – I also think that it’s scary as hell and you won’t likely catch me daring to knock on that door for the solicitation of tricks and/or treats anytime soon – but still, we each have our preferred holiday of choice and I think it’s worth my applause when I see that you’ve opted to embrace your own holiday with a dedication that while some may refer to as overkill, other enthusiasts like myself welcome with open arms…

…maybe not anywhere near your house, mind you, on account of that masked guy who you’ve got waving the chainsaw wildly in the air … seriously, where do you even find something like that?!

Perfect example, though – some people just don’t get into their holidays like we do!  Sure, maybe they’ll put up a tree or throw a hastily-carved pumpkin outside the front door at the last minute, but they don’t go anywhere near the spectacular excess that we all know makes these seasons so much fun!  We’re the ones who gear up for the 4th of July by purchasing enough incendiary devices to inadvertently start World War 3, we’re the ones who proudly hire only the finest Singing Gorilla Grams to profess our true loves come mid-February, and of course, we’re the ones who construct holiday displays capable of distracting air traffic each year when Santa Claus comes to town.

Which reminds me – I still need to talk to the power company about stepping up the juice down at my end of the subdivision this year…

Anyways, so while I may not be as big of a Halloween fanatic as my ghostly neighbors, despite all of the cobwebs around my garage that I’m honestly just too lazy to clean up, my hat is off to all of the devilish devotees out there as you enjoy your ghoulish fright night for all of the gasps and screams that it’s worth!  This is your time, so enjoy it because in a couple of weeks soon it’s going to be my time and that gigantic pumpkin is going to have to make way for an inflatable Santa and eight tiny reindeer…

…and an industrial-strength snow-making machine…

…and enough Christmas lights to land a 747.

Happy Holidays!!!