I hope I’m not getting boring in my old age.

Yesterday I turned 31 – the next logical step after turning 30 just about a year prior on the very same day, in fact!  And at this point although I’m not really sure if I feel a year older or even a year wiser, I do find myself a wee bit concerned about whether I might be losing my sense of excitement, at least as far as yearning for birthday gifts is concerned…

Case in point – this year after much debate and deliberation, I ultimately determined that I wanted a new frying pan for my birthday.

I didn’t get one, mind you, although in the defense of my friends and family I’m not entirely sure that I ever got around to actually telling anybody that I wanted one – a critical part of the gift-getting process, younger generations take note!  It’s probably just as well – kind of like a pair of underwear or a new bride, a frying pan is something sort of personal that guys prefer to pick out ourselves anyways.  And besides, after the whole Polka Dot Unmentionables Catastrophe of 2004, I guess you could say I’ve finally learned that some things are best not left up to the discretion of anyone who may have been a victim of your own personal gift-giving shenanigans of years gone past…

I still say that singing fish are hilarious, though, and as long as they keep making ‘em, I’m gonna keep giving ‘em!  Take Me to the River is the new Happy Birthday in my songbook…

Anyways … normally I’m not really even one for “practical gifts” because I feel like if I really need a new pair of socks, I’d much rather just go buy them myself than waste valuable birthday merriment unwrapping them before cake and ice cream on my one special day of the year, however in this particular case I’ve probably been saying that I need to buy a new frying pan for, well … pretty much since about a week after I first bought my current frying pan! Between all of its rust and Teflon and other flaky, metallic ingredients that nobody ever wants to find in their pancakes on a cool, Sunday morning, now just seemed like the perfect opportunity to splurge and go for one of those really nice, heavy duty professional frying pans that doesn’t cost $7.99 at Walmart and then end up getting the entire family sick every single time you try to whip up a little breakfast for dinner meal-time magic!

So justified, yes, but at the same time I also can’t help but wonder at this pace what the rest of my 30’s have in store for me, at least with regards to future birthday gift preferences.  Was “The Year of the Frying Pan” really just a one-time fluke, or is this merely the beginning of a whole decade of drab, grown-up birthday lists that will eventually come to also include riding lawnmowers and fly-fishing gear and if genetics have their evil ways, even an annual membership in the Hair Club for Men?! Are my days of yearning for lasers and robots but a fleeting memory as this ever-aging man finds himself on a crash course with one milk-toast, middle-aged birthday after another???

As I sit here putting together my new LEGOs and indulging in what can only be described as the most peanut butteriest birthday cake imaginable, it’s probably safe to say that this is mostly just the stray flakes of Teflon talking at this point and in reality I have little doubt that the remaining eight birthdays that I still have to look forward to here in this third decade of my life will be nothing short of spectacular … even if it means starting on my new birthday list for next year right here and right now!

Hmmmm – so let’s see…

  • dirt bike
  • chemistry set
  • TurboGrafx-16 (ahhh, 1990 – Bonk was such an underrated caveman video game star…)

Don’t count me out of this birthday gift race based on one frying pan just yet, baby!