I’ve never met a Christmas cookie I didn’t like.

Well, I guess that’s not technically true … I actually never really cared for those Russian Teacakes that the adults always used to like while I was growing up.  They were just so dry and bland and powdery, whereas a proper Christmas cookie should be sugary and moist and filled with holiday deliciousness at every bite!  It’s kind of hard for me to get excited about a cookie that not only crumbles and makes a giant mess on the counter when I try to sneak them at 3am, but then also leaves me battling a dry mouth that can only be cured by three and a half glasses of milk and a handful of real Christmas cookies to help get the god-awful taste of bleh out of my mouth…

But other than a few bad cookies, frosted Santas and gingerbread men are just as big a part of my holiday celebrations as the HoneyBaked Ham and the succulent, sweet and sour meatballs, and every other dish that makes my mouth water at the very thought of Christmastime growing near.  I guess that sort of explains my Weeble-like physique when you consider that all of my favorite parts of the holidays are the ones that you can eat, but now is not the time for lectures and guilt and crying over yet another year of unkept promises – that’s what New Year’s is for!

In the meantime, though, we’ve got a veritable smorgasbord of baking to do – armies of gingerbread men to do a jolly baker’s every bidding, blizzards of frosted snowflakes to fill the night sky with sugary delight, and even an Old Navy-sized collection of shortbread mittens of every shape and color … you know, because sometimes our bellies could use a little warming just as much as our fingers after a particularly blustery, cold winter day!  The kitchen may end up looking like a war zone itself after eight solid days of cookie baking intensity, with flour and sugar-dusted countertops to mark where countless pounds of dough fell to cookie cutters of all shapes and sizes, but sometimes the spoils of war justify the cost … especially when sprinkles are involved…

If you were to ask me right now what my Top 5 Favorite Christmas Cookies of All-Time are, after a bit of thought and in between bites, I’d probably cite something along the yummy lines of the following:

5. Chocolate Crinkles – you might not recognize the name, but you’d know ‘em if you saw ‘em … chocolate cookies that look like they’ve been squished, then dipped in powdered sugar to ensure a delicate sweetness straight to the core!

4. Fudge-Covered Oreos – I know, it kinda takes some of the fun out of it because technically you can just buy these at the store now, but there’s still nothing better than heating up some chocolate on the stovetop and dunking a few yourself because, well, you can put a lot more chocolate on them when you make them yourself!

3. Peanut Butter Blossoms – there are plenty of varieties, from the chocolate and cherry-flavored cookies that my wife made this year to even an extra awesome pumpkin flavor that is to die for, but sometimes just classic peanut butter cookies with a Hershey’s Kiss crown is exactly what the cookie doctor ordered…

2. Gingerbread Men – the traditional holiday building material of so many houses and villages also exists in man form, and thankfully we won’t have any trouble catching him even if he does run, run, run as fast as he can!

1. Frosted Santa Cookies – don’t even bother unless you’re my Mom, for these incredible nostalgic treats from my childhood, with their fluffy, white beards and classic, red caps are like the embodiment of Christmastime bliss in every bite…

The point behind this whole column, with all of its tantalizing imagery and mouthwatering metaphor, is really pretty simple – Christmas cookies are delicious, and if you for some bizarre reason haven’t been eating one this whole time while you’ve been reading, now is the time for you to stand up, march out to that kitchen and immediately correct that oversight!  Allow my words here today to inspire your mind, body, and taste buds, because Christmastime is far too short to spend it not eating cookies…

Seriously, go now and let the sweet buttercreams and sugary sprinkles be with you!