Folks, I’ve never claimed to be the sharpest tack in the box, the brightest bulb in the shed, or even the newest kid on the block.  In fact, sometimes things have been known to fly so far over my head that they’ve been erroneously mistaken for the International Space Station, which at roughly 200 miles above the surface of the Earth can leave for quite the margin of error, even if I am already standing on my tippy-toes…

The point is, sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the moment – say, just as an example, that you’re looking for a bigger house to rent, and after weeks of searching to no avail, you finally come across this one that just looks absolutely perfect. It’s got a ton more space, a pool, and even one of those little nooks dedicated exclusively to breakfast, because really, one can never have too many spaces set aside specifically with the consumption of food in mind!  If I ever build a house of my own, it’s going to have a pizza loft, a hot fudge Jacuzzi, a potato chip snack pit – the homeowner’s insurance is going to be nuts for this place, but it’s totally going to be worth it…

But we’re getting off track here, so for the purpose of this discussion, let’s just say that you come across this above-average house for a low – but not unreasonable price given the current housing market – that you think you might like a whole lot and would like to consider renting into the foreseeable future.  Let’s also say that after reaching out to the “owners” via e-mail, you come to learn that said owners are actually doing missionary work in West Africa for the next five years, and as such, they’re happily willing to rent their house to you sight unseen, just as long as you promise to keep the house neat and clean, and wire transfer the security deposit over to them as soon as possible.

They’ve also, oddly enough, paid all of the utilities in full for the next five years as well, even though that’s totally unheard of here in the modern world…

Now I know what you’re thinking – “Sounds great – when do you move in?!” And friends, I wish that I had a specific date that I could share with you, along with color swatches that we’re entertaining for our new family room and the style of inflatable beach float that I’ll be using to lounge around that sparkling pool in a few months, but alas, it was only a short while thereafter that I discovered a tiny flaw in our prospective agreement – well, mainly – they didn’t actually own the property that they were trying to rent me!!!

It’s a funny thing, really – apparently there’s some misconception over in Nigeria that anybody can rent a house to pretty much anybody else, without so much as having any actual legal ownership of the house in the first place!  Of course, here in America, if I wanted to rent out your house to somebody, for example, there are all sorts of “laws” in place to say, “No – you’re really not allowed to do that…” but over in Nigeria?!  Hell, they’ll rent you the White House as long as you’re willing to pay via money order!  You might not necessarily get the keys in the mail right away, but I’m sure they’ll show up sooner or later…

Fortunately, yours truly managed to wise-up to this whole crazy scheme before any actual money traded hands – upon closer inspection, there was just something about photos of two completely different kitchens in the exact same listing that just didn’t quite seem right.  Take it from me – you’ve got to stay on your toes when you’re wandering around the Internet, whether you’re looking to rent a new home or simply trying to catch up on your online gambling addiction.

You know what they say, “If it sounds too good to be true, or if they speak in really broken English and approve your rental application before you even submit it…”