My kid can be pretty weird sometimes.
I try not to make every single one of these columns lately about my son, but then again, something tells me that fifteen years from now when our primary interactions consist mostly of “Can I borrow the car keys, Dad?” and “Can I borrow your wallet, too, because gas now costs $47 a gallon, Dad?!”, jokey thingys like this might not necessarily be the first thing that comes to mind.
Also, I’m probably going to have to get a real job if gas does make it up to $47 a gallon!
Ha ha ha – just kidding! There’s no way we’re going to have any gas left fifteen years from now to be worth $47 a gallon, anyways…
Regardless, right now my one and a half year-old son is absolutely hilarious even if it’s most definitely very much unintentional at the time. For example, just now he came running up to me as happy as can be only wearing one shoe and when I asked where his other shoe went, my wife simply called back from the other room, “I tried to put it back on but he only wanted to wear one of them…”
Or how the other night I watched him spend a solid forty-five minutes in his absolute glory just sitting on the floor in the kitchen, meticulously moving the dog’s food from one bowl to the other a single piece at a time like it was the most important job in the world.
I’ve also noticed lately how he seems to get into the biggest fits of giggles when he farts, but honestly I think it’s probably safe to say that he might’ve picked that one up from me!
More and more, though, watching my son bounce around the room like a goofy, little super ball fueled by apple juice and Teddy Grahams, it really is like looking at a little mini-me … which is kind of weird because it’s hard to picture myself ever having that much energy, but the borderline uncontrollable silliness is certainly a familiar trait that I’m sure we’re eventually going to have to go to great lengths to temper, or at the very least get used to explaining when he’s reciting entire episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse while hanging upside-down on the jungle gym at the playground, “It’s ok – he’ll come back down after he’s done doing The Hotdog Dance…”
But I guess that’s really just another one of these fun parts about having kids – seeing how they look like you and talk like you and eventually what sorts of bizarre neuroses they develop that are going to drive the people around them absolutely bonkers in the years to come! So what if you can’t go to Target anymore because he likes to chew on the shopping carts there or if his best friend is an imaginary pickle that tells him to keep trying to ride the dog around the house like the mighty stallion that she most definitely isn’t?!
Some of us take pills for our neuroses, and some of us write humor columns, and some of us walk around the house only wearing one shoe.
Who knows – if that whole gas thing dries up, maybe all of that extra walking will persuade him to find that other shoe on his own after all…