Latest Columns
The Ripe, Old Age of 37
Eventually we all reach an age where birthdays, quite frankly, just aren’t all that exciting anymore. For me, apparently it’s this one – ripe, old “37” … which i...
This Is a Humor Column About Nazis
I don’t want to be writing about Nazis. There’s not really much to be said about Nazis that hasn’t already been said in textbooks and documentaries and Indiana Jones movies, so unles...
The Tragic Tale of the Boy Who Wouldn’t Go to Bed
There once was a little boy – not much older than you, in fact. He was a good, little boy – for the most part. He listened to his teachers in school, and he refrained from hitting the dog ...
Next Time Just Deliver the Food Directly Into My Mouth…
If there’s one thing that us lazy people hate, it’s doing stuff. I don’t care if we’re talking about mowing the lawn, driving to the store for groceries, or rolling out of be...
A Day in the Life of a Stressed Out Parent, in 27 Acts
— ACT 1 : MORNING TIME — A quiet, serene house is abruptly awoken by the sound of two tiny banshees ready to feast… BABIES: “WHHHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!” DAD: “...
Thanks, Moms – For Keeping Us Fed, Clothed, and Generally Alive…
Being a mom can’t be an easy job. I mean, right off the bat – that first part?! Nope! I’ve seen the whole ordeal up close and personal exactly once and if it’s all the same to ...
The Part Where Florida Gets REALLY Hot!!!
Why precisely was it that I moved to Florida again??? The water’s full of sharks, the air is full of hurricanes, last year I found an alligator in my driveway underneath my car, the tourists a...
I Find Your Lack of Cynicism & Ham Sandwiches Disturbing…
I don’t trust people who are so trusting in other people. They just seem … untrustworthy. What kind of a world would we live in if politicians, lawyers, and Wall Street bankers were all t...