Sold Out By Betty Crocker
So yes, I have a subscription to The Betty Crocker Cookbook Collection. Now normally that’s the kind of information that I’d ask folks to keep under their hats or other apparel suitable for storin...
The Fine Art of Chinese Buffet Takeout
Those people over there in the booths? They’ve got it easy… Anybody can come to an all-you-can-eat buffet, plop their family down for the evening, and proceed to maximize their return on that $7.9...
Chocolate Cake for Breakfast
Ahhh, screw it – I’ll just do a few extra sit-ups tomorrow! If you’re anything like me, you were one of the geniuses who triumphantly decided to take a stand this New Years and put taking better...
Dig Out the Dinner Pants! (a Comedic-Genius Thanksgiving Special Edition)
Today’s the day we’ve all been fasting for, ladies and gentlemen! Now normally you wouldn’t be reading my regularly scheduled warm, soothing words until tomorrow morning – you know, right arou...
Lose It or Lose It
Alrighty, folks – we’re officially in panic mode! And boy, am I tired. Honestly, I probably shouldn’t even be taking the break to write the here column, but the way I see it, there’s only so m...
Tortilla Chip Blasphemy of a Fruity Persuasion
Does anybody know where the Doritos Headquarters is? I think it’s high time that we get a mob together and go knock some sense into those “flavor experts” of theirs… I don’t know about you, ...
Cake Day = Best Wedding Planning Day EVER!!!
Scott has been waiting for this day for a long time, my friends! So long that it’s got him speaking in the third person and it doesn’t even phase him in the least, and being the prolific writer th...
Celebrate the Season with Delicious Ham
I learned an important lesson recently… Just as one shouldn’t go grocery shopping when they’re hungry, it’s also probably not such a bright idea to follow-up by throwing the grocer...