Holy Mother of Cold!!!

Jan 8, 2010
Hey, Old Man Winter?  Ummm … we need to talk. Look – I understand that being all cold and bone chilling and overall just depressing is kind of your thing, but here’s the thing – some of us li...

‘Tis Not the Season for Swimming

Nov 13, 2009
Folks, I don’t want to sound like a buzz kill here, but nonetheless I feel the distinct need to clear something up.  Specifically – it’s November here in Florida. You know the month – smack d...

Aloe is a Stupid Man’s Best Friend

Aug 7, 2009
Yeah, yeah – you can probably see where this one’s going before I even get started… So as you can probably discern from the lovingly flattering photo, yours truly got burned recently, and not so...

It’s a Jungle Out There…

Jul 31, 2009
I’ve written about this a time or two before, but we’re going to go over everything again this week one more time because frankly I’m not quite sure everyone took seriously enough my warnings of...

The Day the Earth Stood Sweating

Jul 17, 2009
Let’s play a game, folks!  It’s just a little something I’ve cooked up in my spare time lately called Things You Never Want to Hear in Florida … in July, and it goes a little something like t...

Things That Go Chomp In the Night

Apr 17, 2009
I woke up with one hell of a bite on my neck the other morning. Using my awesome powers of deductive reasoning, I’m led to believe one of the two following scenarios: a) My wife is actually a vampir...

Why Can’t You Drive 55?!

Mar 13, 2009
Oh good – you’re still here! Sorry, folks – I would’ve been here sooner, but I ran into a little “traffic problem” along the way, and by “traffic problem” I mean to say that I got stuc...