So it’s done – I’m officially on my Tivo’s shitlist…

And although I don’t know exactly how I got here, what I will certainly profess is that I don’t like it one bit! I don’t want to fight with old Bessie, that’s for sure; in fact, I actually really love my Tivo and I couldn’t imagine my television-viewing experience without her, but of all the dog house’s to be in, this is definitely one that I’ve got to work my way out of … fast!

I’ll admit that I was a latecomer to the Tivo revolution and for quite some time, I never really understood the hype, but then she came into my life and everything changed. Well, I suppose in the interest of full disclosure I should explain that my girlfriend really brought Tivo into my life when she herself debuted, sort of like when you’re forced to become acclimated to your new girlfriend’s runty, ankle-biter of a dog that insists on sleeping between the two of you in bed like a bratty child created solely for the purpose of preventing you from having sex ever again, except that fortunately she put her foot down when it came to the Tivo actually sleeping in bed with us.

That would’ve just been weird.

But ever since I saw that I could watch The Simpsons pretty much anytime that I wanted without having to hassle with commercials or sorting through nine seasons of DVDs, my life has never been the same! As if having 300 channels of digital cable isn’t enough, now time itself is no longer an obstacle for my cinematic viewing pleasures as I can watch my primetime favorites at four in the morning when I should, for all trends in purposes, be sound asleep in bed! The seas part, water turns to wine straight out of the faucets, and fresh spring flowers sprout up from the damnedest of places, all thanks to the magic of Tivo…

So I’ve got to do something to get back on her good side, but I just don’t know where to begin. Right now it just randomly “forgets” to record my favorite shows, a feature that I used to reserve for girlfriends past, but I don’t want to point blame here – I just want to watch The Office, Thursdays at 9:00/8:00 central on NBC. That Dwight really cracks me up!

Anyways, because I’m so bereft of ideas to win back my Tivo’s love, I look to you – my loyal and wacky readers – to tell me what you’d do in my shoes to repair a broken relationship with your favorite piece of home entertainment equipment. I’d even be willing to adapt your ideas if you’ve got an angle that has worked for you in the past with a toaster or something because frankly, I just can’t go another round at the water cooler Friday morning not knowing if Jim and Pam are going to give their unspoken love another shot! So send me your thoughts, considerations, insights or dreams, and in the meantime, I’ll be out buying transistors or something.

Tivos love transistors, right?!