It may be back to school time, but if you’re anything like me, you’ve got questions – about the CVS receipt-length list of supplies we’re supposed to send in, about the extra s...
Do kids even take the bus to school anymore? I ask because although I see them driving around town, I can only assume that every school bus is completely empty based on the number of SUVs and minivans...
One of my responsibilities as a father of boys is teaching them about their penises. So far the coursework has been pretty straightforward – wear underwear, don’t show it to strangers, try...
“The mask isn’t for you – it’s to protect the people you care about.” — Batman Can you believe that we’ve had five months now to run around wearing masks like...
I shouldn’t laugh, but my dog started wearing diapers recently. Oh, who am I kidding?! After 56 dog years of defiance and obnoxious barking coupled with a questionable amount of occasionally bei...
Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to believe that everything around you is fake? Climate change. 9/11. A global pandemic. Anderson Cooper’s street cred. How would you even know that the gril...
Is it Christmas yet??? Maybe election time? It could even already be Halloween, considering we’ve all got the masks ready for it and everything! Just fill up a big bowl full of candy and wait fo...
Dear Ginormous Oak Tree Towering in My Front Yard, I don’t love you anymore. If we’re being frank, and I don’t know why I wouldn’t because I’m talking to a tree, I’...
“I want to speak to the manager of the Internet – this website is distracting me and preventing me from writing my humor column!” Oh, Karen… Not a week goes by without your smu...
Have you ever wondered about the volume of poop that comes out of your household on a daily basis? For the amount of time that I’ve spent behind the business end of a toilet plunger these last c...