Can you believe it’s finally almost that time of year?!

No, not Christmas … although you’ve only got 49 more shopping days and I heard that stores are already starting to put out their Easter candy for next year, but right now we’re not so much focused on neatly-wrapped presents and creme-filled chocolates as we are neatly-wrapped candidates and vote-filled ballot boxes…

Because it’s Presidential Election Time again, baby!

It’s that special time of year that we’ve been anxiously anticipating for something like a year and a half now when next week everyone will take to the polls to cast their votes, and then the next day – as if by magic – political arguments on sites like Facebook and Twitter will drop from 100% down to only 50%, which are pretty impressive argumentative statistics for the Internet if you can stop posting to rant about the bad turkey sandwich that you had for lunch long enough to think about it!

Of course, Thanksgiving is still going to be pretty awful this year – not much we can do about those in-person, family arguments, just in case you want to stock up on Tryptophan shots in advance…

One would think that as hyped up as we all get for election season, we’d have slightly better turnout at the polls than what would get graded a solid D- if voter turnout were graded like a midterm exam that we expect high school students to take. If 60% of a football team showed up to play, they’d send everybody home and the NFL would send out a stern warning the next day threatening to move the offending teams to Timbuktu if it happens again. And if only 60% of Congress voted on a given bill, that would probably actually be about par for the course … but we’re trying to set the bar a bit higher than our current politicians so let’s not bring Washington’s Little Underachievers into this debate.

The thing is, even if you feel like you’re choosing between the lesser of two evils, and you feel like you need to take a chemical shower after leaving the voting booth, and that sometimes it feels like your vote is worth about as much as the hanging chads dangling threateningly from your ballot – you really should vote.

You should vote because not everyone gets to vote for their leaders … countries like North Korea, and China, and even England. I mean, I’m sure that Queen Elizabeth II is a lovely matriarch, but she sure gets to wear a pretty fancy hat for never having to stand up to the scrutiny of a popular vote, if you know what I’m saying…

You should vote because it’s not every day that most of us get a say in what our government actually does … do you recall the last time your senator called you up at home to ask your opinion on how he should vote about climate change or whether they should name that new freeway interchange after a famous politician who’s already dead or an infamous politician who’s still alive???

You should also vote because they give you a free sticker and you know that there’s at least one person in your office at work who’ll be silently judging you at the Thanksgiving potluck if she doesn’t see that red, white, and blue sticker on your shirt come Tuesday before the day is through. You make a good casserole, but seriously, mind your own business, Carol…

Whether you choose to do it with a Pumpkin Spice Latte in your hand and a jolly, holiday tune whistled festively from your lips is entirely up to you, but Election Day is coming and the sooner we can get that out of the way, the sooner we can expect Santa Claus and his nine reindeer dashing merrily from rooftop to rooftop with presents and toys for all of the good, little girls and boys … and their voting parents who’ve done their part to support democracy from sea to shining sea…

Say what you will about Clinton and Trump, but don’t mess with Santa when there are presents at stake!