…so that’s where we stand at this point, anyways. If you’ve been reading along over the last month, you’re well aware at this point that I’ve gone and done gotten myself engaged – to get married, of all things! And really, if this is news to you at this point … where have you been?! Get with the program and go read my last three columns – we’ll wait.

Some people’s kids, I tell ya…

Anyways, while the hunt and the purchasing of the ring itself, not to mention working up the nerve to actually offer up said ring in exchange for my fair lady’s hand for all eternity, did prove to be just a tad bit stressful at times, I am somewhat happy to say that at least for now, I’ve yet to find myself overwhelmed with the barrage of stress and chaos that seems to be looming just over the ever-approaching wedding planning horizon. Much like a storm in the distance or an uninvited relative, I can tell that it’s coming, but at least for the time being I’m just trying to relax and enjoy these new days of being a definitely not single man…

Of course, friends who’ve been in my shoes before – figuratively speaking, at least – will vouch that these relationship vacation days certainly won’t last long, and a quick look around definitely confirms that notion. Maybe it’s the anxiousness by my new fiancée to tell everyone – even random people in the mall who we don’t even know and very well might not even speak English – about our recent engagement and how our wedding will be the fairest gala in all the land, maybe it’s the uncontrollable giddiness when we pass by anything that’s simply the color white, even if it’s not necessarily wedding-related, but it’s clear that these days of relaxing, decision-less bliss are to be short-lived at best.

I think above all else, though, the telltale sign that my life is about to go into a frenzy of a tailspin is defined by the ever-expanding library of wedding magazines that have begun popping up around our house. I once only scoffed at them in the grocery store checkout line, wondering who would possibly purchase these mammoth tomes month after month while enjoying a good laugh at the latest Make Him Give You Really Adequate Sex headlines on the cover of Cosmo, but even now it’s already become painfully clear to me that wedding planning is quite the hot commodity!

I mean, how else could these folks churn out half a dozen completely different wedding planning bible magazines every month, with each individual mag containing half a phone book’s number of pages and about a quarter of the actual content?! These people thrive on guys like me – the young, innocent, and in the right light sometimes even arguably attractive – to build their customer base by slipping those magic rings on women’s fingers. From there, the work is simple as long as they’ve got 500 pictures of designer dresses and one writer on staff to churn out lists all day of What not to forget the day of your perfect wedding… and What to absolutely, positively not forget the day of your perfect wedding… The advertisers probably don’t even bother writing checks – they just send over giant dump trucks full of cash…

So I guess it probably goes without saying that aside from figuring out how I’m possibly going to dispose of approximately 100,000 bridal magazines that our household is set to accumulate between now and that fateful day, there will likely be a few other areas in which I’ll be asked of my opinion so as to make our special day all merry and bright (not unlike Christmas, although I’m fairly confident that she wouldn’t exactly go for that particular theme…). As to the level of my own personal involvement … well, I’d like to say that I’m going to try my best to beat the typical guy stereotype and participate in planning a bit more than just the DJ and the honeymoon, however I’ve also seen just how absolutely crazy those sales folks involved even at the engagement ring level can get, so let’s just wait and see how that one pans out first!

In the meantime, however, if you don’t mind I’d like to get back to the peace and quiet that I’m currently enjoying via margarita and a new book. If crazy wedding planning chaos comes knocking on the door looking for me, just take down his number and let him know that I’ll get back to him in a few weeks! For now I’d just like to savor the calm just as long as I possibly can…