Who can resist a good prank, really?!

I know I can’t!  I mean, I like to think that normally I’m a pretty nice guy – I hold doors for people, I say please and thank-you, and I’ve even been trying to keep my road rage down to four or five expletives per sentence – max.  But that said, much like watching someone freely offering up their neck to the alpha wolf, there are some temptations that are simply too juicy and succulent to resist.  I’m only human!

Take for example this random text message that I received the other day:

Hi Ken – Thanks for the dancing last night it was really fun! Have a good weekend – Tammie

Now clearly I’m not Ken, and even if I was, you’d never catch me out “dancing” unless some sort of sinister blackmail was involved.  It’s pretty obvious that our friend Tammie here has the wrong number for her boogie-loving dance partner.  Sure, I could’ve just sent her back a quick reply explaining so, but really, where’s the fun in that?!

Instead, I sent this…

Tammie – After dancing with you, I developed some sort of strange foot fungus.  70% of Americans have Athlete’s Foot and don’t even know it – are you one of those Americans, Tammie?  – Ken

Needless to say, the next message that I received from Tammie was somewhat less than cordial, but I’ll bet you she double-checks the numbers that she types into her phone a little more carefully in the future!  She probably had a pretty interesting conversation with Ken the next time they spoke, too!

There are other times when a nice, relatively harmless prank can be great for dealing with people who are otherwise rude and obnoxious and generally just have it coming to them in the first place.  You know, like when…

Somebody gives your phone number for a car loan and you start getting collection calls about their late payments.  Don’t just hang up – tell them, “I ain’t paying you another dime – if you want your stupid SUV, you’re just going to have to come take it from my driveway in the middle of the night!”

Or maybe you’re trying to do some grocery shopping and there’s some lady’s cart blocking exactly what you need while she’s not paying attention because she’s too busy talking at the top of her lungs on her cell phone.  Sure, you could just ignore her and move on, but wouldn’t it be more fun to put random weird stuff like chicken gizzards and canned octopus in her cart while she’s not looking?!

Or even when you’re just sitting at home trying to relax and someone knocks on your door in hopes of sharing their tales of divine glory with you.  Most people just don’t answer the door, but instead, you could always invite them inside and then introduce them to your own personal savior that you just recently crafted out of popsicle sticks and spaghetti!

I guess when it all comes down to it, I’m just the kind of guy who takes small amounts of pleasure in messing with people when they least expect it.  Whether they’re an innocent bystander or someone who totally deserves whatever my admittedly twisted imagination manages to cook up for them – I like to think of myself as an equal-opportunity prankster, if you will!  No opportunity is too small, no stranger too gullible – it’s all in a day’s fun!

Oh, by the way – your fly has been down the entire time you’ve been reading this…