Let me count the ways…

  • I love the way you let me browse the Internet.  Not that watered down, teensy-weensy “Mobile Web,” but the actual real Internet – the one with all of the stuff on it.
  • I love the way you somehow manage to get better reception than my old POS phone ever did, even though you’re technically still on the same network and aren’t even supplementing with wi-fi or anything.
  • I love the way you actually let me use the letters O, R, and D when I send text messages, as opposed to my stupid, old phone whose keys stuck like I had spilled pancake syrup on them.

…which I didn’t, just for the record…

The point is, my sweet, beautiful iPhone – I know that we haven’t known each other very long, but even after just the 3 days, 18 hours, and 37 minutes of pristine, digital bliss that we’ve been able to spend together so far, I can honestly say that I’ve never been happier with a handheld mobile device … and that even counts the original dot matrix Game Boy that I got for my birthday when I was nine years old!

I guess I just never really thought I’d be lucky enough to end up with such an amazing microcomputer like you.  I mean, Mom always taught me about how important it was to hold out for the right network and how good things come to those who wait, but the last couple of years certainly haven’t been easy, with your simple, yet refined elegance lingering just out of reach, unappreciated on a subpar network by a horde of fan boys who could never truly love you like I would.  It was all that I could do to sit on the sidelines and yearn for you from afar, lost and lonely here on America’s largest 3G network simply because you weren’t here with me…

Looking back, it’s almost hard to believe that here we are some four years later, finally getting the shot that I always dreamed of, despite all odds and contract negotiations and anti-Apple haters who said that it would never happen just because they’re all horribly bitter and cranky people.  And to think that last fall I almost gave up hope and considered settling for one of those inferior models – I shudder at the thought because so dramatically has my life changed even already with you in it, the idea of me with another mobile device frankly just seems utterly ridiculous!

Whether I’m checking my e-mail on the go or gawking at estimated wait times across the park at Walt Disney World, tweeting my latest brilliance while waiting for takeout, or even just making the most of my bathroom time with some birds that are most definitely angry, you’ve managed to make my life better at just about every turn and wouldn’t you know it – on top of all that, I can even make phone calls, too?!

Which mobile device makes this writer feel like he’s falling in love with the digital age all over again???

Droid doesn’t.