I never thought that I’d live to see the day when Kraft Macaroni & Cheese could be delivered to my door with the click of a button.
The barriers were simply too great – websites contained too many links, the Internet as a whole had too many distractions, and what should’ve been a quick visit to Amazon.com to order some delicious, original blue box mac and cheese became a three hour struggle for my attention between tweets of people’s lunches and videos of cats playing musical instruments to catchy jingles.
But where other innovators saw the impossible, Jeff Bezos and the team at Amazon instead saw an opportunity … a chance to give honest, hardworking folks who enjoy macaroni and cheese like myself a break … another of life’s great struggles that could be solved by harnessing the power of technology, the magic of the Internet, and mankind’s undying, infallible love for Kraft Macaroni & Cheese.
And thus on that cool, autumnal morn in the dawn of the 21st century, the Amazon Dash button was born.
The concept is pretty ingenious – Amazon sends you a little, white button about the size of a keychain to place wherever macaroni and cheese is enjoyed in your home, and then when you use up your last box of creamy deliciousness, you merely press the button and the Internet tells Amazon to send you some more!
No more clunky websites to navigate or sales on random things that aren’t macaroni and cheese to distract you from the task at hand. It’s just a single, highly efficient button tasked with only one goal in its entire existence … to ensure that your home never goes without Kraft Macaroni & Cheese ever again. Seriously, the only way that this thing could be any better would be if somehow they put little microchips inside of each macaroni noodle so that once your belly had consumed the final morsel in the vicinity of your house, an air raid siren would go off as Amazon drones descended upon your home to promptly and with military-grade precision restock your pantry before the fork even hit your empty plate…
But who knows, maybe that’s phase 2.
In the meantime I like where this latest advancement in technology has taken us and already I’m looking forward to the day when I really don’t have to leave the cozy, anti-social comforts of my home at all anymore because Amazon will have designed similar Dash buttons for seemingly anything and everything that I could possibly need to purchase from them as a loyal consumer.
Toilet paper is out? Quilted Northern Dash button.
Hard to reach itch on the small of my back? Back-Scratcher Dash button.
Neighbor kids won’t stop playing on my freshly cut lawn? Flame-Thrower Dash button … because once flame throwers start becoming available on Amazon, I have a feeling I’m going to be going through a lot of them!
With the simple click of a button, the future has inched its way even closer, and it came bearing fresh macaroni and cheese, so you can’t argue that! Sure, there may be a few glitches along the way, such as when my 1 1/2 year-old son gets a hold of the button and two days later I find myself staring at 37,000 boxes of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese waiting on my porch, but that’s really just a teachable moment for any good parent these days.
Teaching my son that filling the swimming pool up with macaroni and cheese would be AWESOME, anyways!