We can be romantic around here. You bet your sweet Cheez-Its, we can be romantic around here!
I know, I know – previous columns regarding such regal topics as phlegm and robots and my own mysteries from beyond the sock drawer might very well lead one to believe that we’re a little less refined here at Comedic-Genius Media than some of your more contemporary literary establishments, but don’t let my overwhelming coverage of all things pepperoni-related fool you … when the time is right, we can be as sensitive as a weatherman who’s just realized that his entire career is based on a series of random shots in the dark highlighted by the seldom, but occasional lucky guess…
…sorry, guys – I just think that your job is a ridiculous waste of time and that similar services could just as easily be provided by a chimp with a drinking problem and a dart board … no offense!
Anyways, the thing is, there are plenty of other writers out there who take this time around Valentine’s Day to gush on and on about romance in the traditional sense – you know, the whole candlelit dinner / evening at the opera / poetry by the fireplace-shtick … which is all well and good if you’re that kind of fancy pants, but let’s face it – if you’re here reading The Humor Column on a regular basis, you’re probably not. You’re more of a burger at Margaritaville, followed by a comedy show downtown-kind of folks, and that’s ok because you know what they say, even a bad night at the comedy club is better than the best night at the opera!
My point is that simply put, there are many different perspectives to the subject of love and they don’t all have to be highbrow, platinum card-level tributes that involve sitting through hours of fat ladies singing and will no doubt take many weeks of tedious overtime to pay off. For the rest of us, that crazy, little thing called love can be a whole lot simpler, so in the nonetheless true holiday sense, I thought it seemed only fitting that we’d take a few minutes here to highlight some of those examples as well.
That’s right – it’s time for The Humor Column to get a little romantic … in its own kind of way, that is … so without further a due, let us dim the lights, pour a glass of wine – the fuller, the better – and take just a few moments to partake in a bit of romance for the rest of us. Let me know if any of these hit home for you…
- Love is tolerating the smell of peanut butter every now and then because your husband loves the stuff, even though you can’t stand it because your siblings traumatized you with it growing up.
- Love is going to see a romantic comedy that you really have no interest in seeing because last week you both went to see the action flick that she really had no interest in seeing.
- Love is visiting the same mediocre Chinese place week after week because their kung pao chicken is your boyfriend’s favorite.
- Love is staying up until three o’clock in the morning and making someone laugh until their sides hurt because they had a really bad day at work.
- Love is holding off on the chit-chat until after she’s done watching Glee or America’s Next Top Model or whatever that one is called that stars a much older, pregnant Molly Ringwald.
- Love is refraining from kicking your girlfriend’s obnoxious, little runt dog no matter how many times it poops in your tennis shoes.
- Love is remembering what kind of ultra-moisturizing, lavender-scented body wash your wife uses, despite getting lost in an endless sea of deep-cleansing options every time you walk down that aisle at the store.
- Love is getting up at five o’clock in the morning to wait in line for tickets to see your girlfriend’s favorite band.
- Love is knowing the difference between Blu-Ray and regular DVDs … or at least knowing that it’s important to buy him the Blu-Ray version when it’s available.
- Love is spending Valentine’s Day playing miniature golf or driving go-carts or having dinner at Chuck E. Cheese’s and both of you having an absolute blast, despite not even coming close to buying into the traditional Valentine’s Day stereotype.
A very, merry Valentine’s Day to all of the lovers and dreamers out there – may we all remember that above everything else, the key to a lasting relationship is in sharing a great sense of humor.
Of course, there’s also obviously something to be said for being really good in the sack, too, but that sort of goes without saying…