Unlucky Like a Rock
Yeah, so it’s Friday the 13th … so what?! I’m not really one to get all up in arms about today being the unluckiest day of the year. Heck, I even flew today on Friday the 13th, which in my opini...
Heckling Your Way Through Another Crappy Summer Blockbuster Season
Here we go again, ladies and by now extraordinarily bored gentlemen. Are you ready for an exciting, action-packed, over-the-top explosive summer of movie-going madness?! Well, Hollywood’s not, so tr...
Please Don’t Sell This Column for Gas Money…
…not that you’d get much for it, anyways, but hey, I suppose every little bit helps in these crazy, fossil-fuelin’ times. $3.75 a gallon, seriously?! There’s nothing quite like having to choos...
It’s Good to Be the King (of the Skies!)
Why didn’t anybody tell me before?! Flying first class is awesome! Last weekend my fiancée and I flew up to New York for the weekend, and I promised myself that I wasn’t going to bore you guys wi...
Stamps A Lot…
I’d like to take this moment to apologize to my fellow patrons of the United States Postal Service, as it seems that I’ve gone and angered the almighty stamp gods again…or something… And I don...
Fertilize This!
“Please grow, baby! Please grow!!!” No, no – we’re not pregnant – and you should be ashamed of yourselves for even suggesting such a thought to a guy that isn’t even married yet! We’ll d...
I Think Our Refrigerator is About to Explode…
Close your eyes for a moment and imagine something for me. Imagine that it’s about 2am and you’re flying high over Never-Never Land, deep in one of those heavenly sleeps that you only hit once or ...
Reason #87 Why Scott Isn’t Ready to Have Kids…
I’m not in nearly good enough shape yet! This fact was rather amusingly brought to my attention earlier this week as I was standing in line for lunch at a local sandwich shop, ordering a meatball su...