Latest Columns
The Morning-After Column
Well folks, I’d say that it’s about time to take a bow! Turn to one another, shake hands, and congratulate one another, for we’ve all successfully made it through another Valentine’s Month –...
The Man’s Soap Opera
Sex, lies, and more Mother/Daughter betrayal than this humor column has certainly ever seen – these are the soaps of our lives. Of course, even with enough provocative content to turn Bill Clinton g...
President Releases His Gourd Records…
After undergoing weeks of scrutiny from the press and several political figureheads, President Bush presented two and a half legal-size boxes containing pages upon pages of extensive gourd documentati...
Ten Things I Really Can’t Stand About You – a Valentine’s Day Blitzkrieg
What better time than Valentine’s Day to air out some dirty laundry, right?! Well baby, I’ve been holdin’ this back for a while, but there are just a few things that I can’t keep covered up an...
Half-Time?! With Cleavage Like That, Baby…
…you could go full-time! So how about that game, eh?! The Patriots gently spanked the Panthers with a last-minute field goal that would’ve had even Grandma screaming at the television had she been...
Mutant Duck Food, Aisle Six
I’ve been told that some of my most adored columns to come off this website are the ones that go past the political blunders and Hollywood beats and provide a glimpse into the glamorous and ritzy li...
Are You Happy, Now? Are You?!
“Dieting is going to play a key role in nursing America back to a healthy lifestyle, and when I think dieting, I think McDonald’s!” Or at least it’s that kind of marketing that the world’s l...
My So-Called Fish…
There’s certainly no denying it – I’m a fish guy. I’ve been a fish guy ever since I was six years old and had one of those novelty tanks that looks like a gumball machine in my room – my par...