Latest Columns
So … I Have a Son Now?!
Believe me – I’m just as surprised as you are, on account of my formerly-pregnant wife’s due date not falling for another solid six weeks on the calendar, but as they say, sometimes babies come ...
Things I Learned in Breastfeeding Class…
I think before my wife even saw me meticulously taking notes, she probably realized that it was a huge mistake letting me come to breastfeeding class with her. A hilarious, huge mistake! In hindsi...
Credit Card Fraud-u-Palooza
Apparently the last couple of months have been a busy time for credit card fraud! I say this as I look at replacements for nearly every card that I carry fanned out in front of me on my desk – credi...
The Cooler in the Crawl Space
There are plenty of normal things I fully would’ve expected to discover in that attic – boxes of random junk left behind by the previous owner, bats, or maybe even a homeless person who h...
Happy Billy Bass-Mas!
The year was 1999, and the world was in desperate need of singing fishes. It had been 25 years since Al Green’s Take Me to the River had graced the airwaves and the last place anyone wouldR...
My Brand New Wasabi Couch
Of all the shades of green in my days – forest green, mint green, maybe even a little avocado – I can’t say as though I’ve ever gazed upon a thing, be it animal, vegetable, or mineral, and tho...
I’m Having a Baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I’m gonna be honest with you – I’ve had plenty of time to think about it already, and it’s kind of crazy just to try and quantify the amount of crazy that this whole situation really is......
Aggressive Nose Kisses for All My Men
So my dog has this new way of telling you that she’s super happy to see you. It’s really gross and invasive and it gives me the heebie-jeebies pretty much every time that she does it, so I wanted ...