Back to School Conundrums

Sep 4, 2020
It may be back to school time, but if you’re anything like me, you’ve got questions – about the CVS receipt-length list of supplies we’re supposed to send in, about the extra s...

Tales From the Neverending Car Line

Aug 28, 2020
Do kids even take the bus to school anymore? I ask because although I see them driving around town, I can only assume that every school bus is completely empty based on the number of SUVs and minivans...

Did You Pee in the Pool Yet, Dad?

Aug 21, 2020
One of my responsibilities as a father of boys is teaching them about their penises. So far the coursework has been pretty straightforward – wear underwear, don’t show it to strangers, try...

Super Diaper Dog

Aug 7, 2020
I shouldn’t laugh, but my dog started wearing diapers recently. Oh, who am I kidding?! After 56 dog years of defiance and obnoxious barking coupled with a questionable amount of occasionally bei...

Denial is a Pandemic

Jul 31, 2020
Can you imagine how exhausting it must be to believe that everything around you is fake? Climate change. 9/11. A global pandemic. Anderson Cooper’s street cred. How would you even know that the gril...

Pandemic Time

Jul 24, 2020
Is it Christmas yet??? Maybe election time? It could even already be Halloween, considering we’ve all got the masks ready for it and everything! Just fill up a big bowl full of candy and wait fo...

Break-Up Letter to a Tree…

Jul 10, 2020
Dear Ginormous Oak Tree Towering in My Front Yard, I don’t love you anymore. If we’re being frank, and I don’t know why I wouldn’t because I’m talking to a tree, I’...

Calling All Karens

Jul 3, 2020
“I want to speak to the manager of the Internet – this website is distracting me and preventing me from writing my humor column!” Oh, Karen… Not a week goes by without your smu...

Lord, Have Mercy on My Toilets…

Jun 26, 2020
Have you ever wondered about the volume of poop that comes out of your household on a daily basis? For the amount of time that I’ve spent behind the business end of a toilet plunger these last c...